I look at my home as a haven/paradise created for my pleasure and relaxation. When I purchased it I knew how I wanted it to feel when I walked in each day. I like to breathe in the scent of the candles I enjoyed burning the previous evening. The welcoming of the evening lights in the winter or the fresh air through a window in the summer. I know when I arrive home that I am safe and this is my world. I am free to share it with whomever I choose. I can do it by talking on the phone, communicating via email or inviting someone to join me there.

When I decorated it I wanted to achieve a warm, welcoming atmosphere. I accomplished this through paint colors, furniture styles, pillows, candles, incense, rugs and carpeting. The main living area is open to the kitchen which allows me to enjoy conversing with my guests in the dining/living room areas. I want my guests to be at ease, enjoy a glass of wine and feel comfortable enough to take off their shoes and unwind. My hope is to have them leave with a relaxed, warm, pleasant feeling. I can’t control their feelings or reactions, but I can create an atmosphere that speaks to people in a special way and this is my goal as a hostess and friend to my guests.

My home is also special to me because at the age of 56 I had never owned a home I picked out and my name was the only one on the deed. When I made my goal list for my post-divorce life the first goal was to own my own home. This may not be important to some people but it was to me. As the time for the date of the divorce finalization approached, a good friend of mine, whose townhouse I had always liked, was being transferred to another state. She and I discussed my purchasing it, and we set the sell/purchase in motion.

I already had ideas of how I wanted to decorate my new dwelling so I started applying those ideas to my friend’s townhouse. I chose paint colors, carpets for the bedrooms and furnishings to make it into the haven I envisioned. My entry is small and there is an open stairs leading up to the main living area. When I have guests or a party, I have candles lit on the table in the entry. That enables guests to immediately be greeted by warmth and an inviting scent. On each end of the rectangular lay out is a bedroom and bathroom with the kitchen, dining/living area in the middle. I like the layout because guests have their own bedroom and bathroom and they are at the opposite end from my bedroom and bathroom.

The dining/living area is painted soft peach and the furniture is cream with green, peach and rust accessories. I like the look of metals and glass so my coffee table is glass on a silvery antique base. My dining area is in bronze antique with a round glass table top. Burning candles in the evening adds warmth, comfort and a relaxing scent. During the day the skylight in the kitchen area lends light and a spacious feeling.

My guest room also doubles as my office. I am a very fastidious person in all areas of my home except my writing area. I need my "stuff" in that area to remind me of travels, friends, family, fun, favorite books and authors, my present writing project and whatever stimulates my creativity. During the day I usually have a jazz station playing in that room. In the evening I also light candles or burn incense to increase and stimulate my creativity while I write. Palm trees and monkeys are two of my favorite collectables so that room is decorated with palm trees, stuffed monkeys on the bed and photographs of both on the bulletin boards.

It is important to surround our self with items reflecting who we are and make us comfortable. When someone comes into my home they can see I am a reader, writer, traveler, and romantic. I allow them to know those parts of me and if they relate to one or two of them, chances are we will be good friends. By letting our guests know who we are, we open our heart to them and invite their friendship.

If our home is a relaxing, comfortable haven for us, we know when stresses are too great, when the holidays are too busy, when we need to be in bed with a cold, we have a place to go where we can soothe these problems and rejuvenate our physical and emotional energy. A residence doesn’t have to be large or extravagant to be comforting and relaxing. I have lived in small apartments that I have made my own and felt at peace in them.

However, as I approached this phase of my life I knew I wanted to be single for the duration and I wanted my home to reflect who "I" am. Being a romantic, I chose colors and fabrics which were soft and warm. I added pillows, artwork, rugs and accessories in brighter colors to draw attention to certain areas. I chose furnishings and colors that were me alone. There are times in our lives when our home needs to be shared and reflect a little of each person who inhabits it. I do believe, however, if possible the adult(s) in the home need an area or a room where they can be alone, one that is furnished in a way that reflects his/her own personality.

Our Surroundings -2 (Continue)