"Mr. Collins was punctual to his time, and was received with great politeness by the whole family." (Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen).

Impeccable manners and spotless reputations were the order of the day during the Regency period. The rules and codes of behavior for men and women were a part of every day life. Whether acknowledging someone while crossing the street or making introductions at a ball or country dance, specific behavior was applied to each situation.

The rules dictating early nineteenth century behavior between men and women seem outlandish in twenty-first century America. However, it brought a refinement to the social discourse that defined a specific time in history.

"One must never smoke, nor even ask to smoke, in the company of the fair." Men were also to refrain from smoking on the streets during daylight hours. Men were to take care not to smoke in any room a woman may enter. This rule of etiquette included a man’s own home. "A well bred man who has a wife or sisters, will not offer to smoke in the dining room after dinner." Believe it or not, a man was never to smoke in the presence of a clergyman. This certainly limited the areas in which a man could smoke didn’t it?

"He (Colonel Brandon) had met Mrs. Jennings at the door in her way to the carriage, as he came to leave his farewell card…" (Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen). There were strict rules about how, when, and why you paid a call on someone. In the case of condolence or congratulations, a caller was required to wait one week after the event to pay a call. There were "ceremonial" visits, "after a dinner party" visits and "marriage call" visits. Visitations were to last no more than twenty minutes to half an hour. If a new arrival came, you were to discreetly excuse yourself, but not immediately lest "you shun the new arrival."

Ladies and gentlemen each had a set of rules to follow in society as shown in this excerpt from Sense and Sensibility. "I (Elinor) would not go…with no other companion than Mr. Willoughby…it has already exposed you to some very impertinent remarks, do you not now begin to doubt the discretion of your own conduct?"

If unmarried and under the age of thirty, a woman was never seen accompanying a man without the presence of a chaperone. A lady also never called upon a gentleman. The exception to this hard fast rule was if she was meeting a gentleman on a business matter.

Ascending or descending a flight of stairs required a gentleman to adhere to another rule. A man would precede a woman going up the stairs and follow her when descending the stairs. In a carriage, a gentleman took the seat facing backward. If alone in the carriage with a lady, the man never sat next to her unless he was a spouse or relative.

When we read or view in movies the stories by Jane Austen, we get a sense of the complexities of the rules governing behavior during the Regency period. Gentlemen and ladies of the time likely viewed these requirements as we do the rules of the road while driving. The codes or regulations are just a part of our daily life.

We could all agree that one of the pleasantries of reading Regency romance is the etiquette of the period. The eloquence, grace, and refinement of society create a wonderful backdrop to the story.

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