Amish young people are sixteen years old when they start interacting with each other in a romantic way. In general, they will be expected to marry by the time they are in their early twenties. This belief is based on the Biblical text, "be fruitful and multiply."

Social Activities for Courting

The primary location for young Amish men and women to interact socially is at the weekly Sunday evening hymn sings. After the singing is over, a man may offer to give a woman a ride home in his buggy. He can visit her house where they may sit and talk together in the family parlor.

A Secret Engagement

When a couple decides they want to marry, they keep their decision a secret. Because Amish women do not wear jewelry, her fiancé will not give her a diamond engagement ring. He may gift her with china or a clock as a token of their betrothal. The bride will not inform her family of their plans until July or August.

A wedding feast is a great celebration and large amounts of celery are used. Normally, a family will plant about one hundred stalks of celery in late June or early July in the garden. Once the bride’s family knows of the forthcoming wedding, almost three hundred stalks of celery will be planted. Come the fall harvest, the extra celery will be used for the huge feast that will be prepared for the wedding day. This increase in celery planting is a signal to observant neighbors that a wedding announcement is forthcoming for an Amish family.

Baptism into the Amish Faith:

In order to be wed, both the bride and groom will need to be baptized into the Amish faith. Fall communion takes place the following church Sunday after Fast Day on October 11. After communion, proper certification (acceptance) of members is requested and is provided by the second Sunday.

Groom Obtaining Approval from the Bride’s Family:

The Schteklimann (deacon or go-between) will be sent by the groom to the bride’s family. The deacon will obtain formal approval from the family regarding the match.

The Wedding is Formally Announced:

The special day occurs the second Sunday after Fast Day. The deacon does the announcement or "publishing" of the engaged couples after the church service. The father of the bride then announces the date and time of the wedding and invites church members to attend.

The bride and groom do not attend the Sunday service when they are published. Instead, the bride makes her groom dinner at her family’s home, and they enjoy their time alone. She formally introduces her fiancé to her family when they return from church.

Several days to two weeks may pass before the wedding. Because spring, summer, and fall are the busiest times of the year on a farm, weddings are held in November and early December following the harvest. This is also more convenient due to inclement weather during the winter season. Most weddings take place on Tuesday or Thursday. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are used to prepare or clean up after the wedding celebration. Saturdays are not used for a wedding day because clean up on Sunday would be sacrilegious.

Home and Feast Preparations:

The wedding will take place at the bride’s family home. The bride will help clean the house and prepare for the wedding feast. Two meals will be held on the wedding day: a midday dinner and an evening meal. The bride will also arrange seating assignments for the tables. A full day will be needed to prepare for the wedding. The groom will occupy his time extending personal invitations to members of his church district, if applicable.

Wedding Clothes:

Wedding clothes for both the bride and groom will be new.

The bride will make her wedding dress. It is a plain cut, unadorned, laceless, mid-calf length dress. (The color blue is the most popular choice of Amish brides.) She may select navy blue, sky blue, or a shade of purple. Instead of a veil, the bride will wear a black cap to signify the special occasion. She will also wear high-top black shoes. The bride will wear her wedding dress on Sundays and will be buried in it when she dies.

She will make attendants’ dresses. Her attendants are called "newehockers" (Pennsylvania Dutch for sidesitters). All women in the wedding will wear capes and aprons over their dresses.

The Groom and his "newehockers" will wear black suits with bow ties. (Amish men usually don’t wear bow ties.) Coats and vests are fastened with hooks and eyes, not buttons. Shirts are white and their shoes and stockings are black. The groom will also wear high-top black shoes and wear a black hat with a 3 ½-inch brim.

Wedding Responsibility Assignments:

Organizer: The bride’s mother is responsible for organizing the wedding. She will, however, appoint an organizer, usually a relative, to be in charge of overseeing activities on the wedding day.

Newehockers or Sidesitters: These are the individuals that make up the wedding party. There is no "best man" or "maid of honor." All are seen as equal in their importance and participation.

Forgeher or Ushers: Four married couples are selected for this role. They make sure that guests are seated properly, according to age and relationship to the bride and groom.

Hostlers: These are the boys who take care of the horses. They see that the horses are removed from the wagons/carriages and fed in the afternoon.

Other Miscellaneous Positions: Other assignments include waiters, "roast" cooks, potato cooks, men who set up the tables and women who handle the tablecloths.

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